Topaz's Property Laws

I saw this today and I chuckled. 

 

 So I decided to make Topaz's list of property laws.

1. If it is a pillow, it is mine.  

Thankfully she graciously shares most of her pillows at night. She requires that she is left at least 2 pillows (3 is preferred) and her nose is still going to be on the pillow that your head is on no matter how many pillows she has.

2. If it is a space rug, it is mine.

 I have 3 rugs in the kitchen and 1 at the front door. Only they are never where they are supposed to be because they are always serving as dog beds. The one that belongs in front of the door is always behind it for when she is on door guard duty. The one that belongs in front of the stove is always just to the side of the stove for when she is on taste testing duty.

3. If it is a ball, it is mine. 

If it is not intended for her it better be put in a place where opposable thumbs are a requirement for getting it.

4. If it is intended for dogs, it is meant for me to destructo it. It is intended for hoomans,  it is my dog bed. 

We have been through 3 dog beds (she ripped the stuffing out of all 3). Now all dog beds are either our pillows, blankets or space rugs.

5. If you bought it for the intention of it being mine, then it's yours (unless I later decided it's mine). If you bought it intending it to be for you, then it's mine

. I purposely went out and got her her own pillows. She still uses all of my pillows and occasionally the ones I bought intending them to be for her.

6. If you bought it for the intention of it being for me, it is mine to destructo. 

I have purchased 3 different blankets for her, she has destroyed/is in the process of destroying all 3. She just uses my blankets as a bed.     

 7. If it is yours, it is mine to stand on.

For some reason laptops seems to receive this particular treatment a lot.

8. If it looks like a plant or food or smells like food then it is mine to eat.  

She eats or attempts to eat all plants and their fruit, insects and normal human food. 

 9. If it does not look like food or even taste like food, it is mine to eat. 

She likes to eat bar soap and has ate a towel before.